Back in the Game

Ok, so I figured out how to get out of my funk: GET BUSY! And that's what I've been doing lately. The house is actually looking decent after 10 days of filth and clutter. I put together four bags of random things to go to Goodwill, which always feels really good. Then my friend, Hayley, who just had her first baby (a boy!) in April made an off-hand remark that she really doesn't have any toys for little Wesley. Poor, poor Hayley. She doesn't realize what she's gotten herself into, making a statement like that to me! Seriously, if I could ship every single toy out of this house I would in a SECOND! So there's a bag of baby toys on their way to her, as well. (Luke doesn't really want baby toys anyway - he only wants what the big boys have.)

Another thing that has helped get my normally positive attitude back is structure. I crave organization in all things, including my daily schedule. So I'm back to walking the dog in the morning and have put a few other touchpoints into our days so that by the time I go to bed at night I always feel like I accomplished something.

More so than January 1st, the end of August/beginning of September time frame always feels like a fresh start to me. I loved those days of buying all new school supplies and finding the perfect outfit for my first day of school. I am trying to be more diligent about using my planner now, especially with my business obligations, and have also downloaded the Taskos app on my phone. I don't know which one will work better for me but will soon find out.

At the end of each day, I've instituted a new tradition: Dance Party. The boys have just 3 songs to get their energy out and show me their moves. They are loving it and I hope you will, too.

Happy Weekend!

In a Funk

It's so hard to believe it's almost August now. July was a blur: we left for Michigan on July 3rd and we (the kids and I) were there until the 14th, when we came back to Wisconsin with my mom. Chris had to come back on the 8th to work, so we spent almost a whole week there without him. My mom just left yesterday, so today was our first day back to normal in almost 3 weeks.

So now that the whirlwind has subsided, I am in a total funk. Why? At first I really wasn't sure what has been bothering me. Maybe I am missing my family and "home" (Michigan), I thought. But that can't be it - it's been five years since we moved out here and I absolutely love it. I literally thank God every day for the beautiful sunrises, peaceful lakes and winding country roads I get to experience out here. Why would I miss metro Detroit?

Could it be just that I miss the excitement of getting up and having fun every day? Our vacation was GREAT - we went to pools and waterparks and a parade, had a birthday party for Owen and just generally enjoyed the change of scenery. The kids were extra good because they were never bored. Now that we're home and it's been so darn hot, they're cooped up in the house and getting into some mischief. Could this be why I feel so "off" emotionally right now?

Today I really thought about what it is and I really think I've figured it out: I miss girls. When we were in Michigan, I got to spend time with my mom, my sister and all my nieces. It was SO WONDERFUL to have other females to talk to and commiserate with. Although I love my boys desperately and am SO BLESSED to have them, but there are many days that I just feel like a fish out of water here in this testosterone-filled house.

There are no quiet days of coloring books, no watching "Xanadu," no shared pedicures. It's wrestling and sparring, Star Wars and laughing at various bodily functions. I get the occasional night out with my girlfriends, but once a month (or less) doesn't curb my appetite for female companionship. When I worked full time, I shared an office with my friend Hayley so I was fine. But now, I feel so alone. It's not adult company I need - it's FEMALE company. I know this because I enjoyed so much the time I spent this month with my nieces ranging in age from 6 to 17. I can RELATE to them so well and I guess it makes me a little sad (again) that I'll never have a daughter.

I hope this post doesn't make me seem ungrateful for all the wonderful blessings in my life. I just needed to get this off my chest. Hopefully these feelings will subside and I'll be able to enjoy my weekend with my boys.

Movie Night

It was movie night last night. Whenever we have movie night we pretty much stick with one of the Star Wars movies. They seem to appeal to all of us, including me. Last night it was "The New Hope" which, for both of you non-Star Wars fans out there, it's the first one.

The boys think it's pretty funny that my favorite Star Wars character is Jabba the Hutt. I tell them all the time that he seems to be the only one who's really having a good time in life. Everyone else is running around trying to either save or control the entire galaxy, but Jabba's happy just hanging out in his underground palace partying it up. He has dancers and singers there, everyone's just relaxing and he even has some really cool wall hangings (or at least one I can think of.) Sure, it ends badly for Jabba in "Return of the Jedi" when Princess Leia chokes him but at least he got to see her in that bikini, right?

So here was the scene in the living room last night...
Once the popcorn came out, so did the little thief. He had already eaten plenty of mine and then moved on to poor William's...

His brothers forgive him anything, though, especially Sammy. Below is a picture of them the other morning when I came out from taking a shower...

I just love the way he loves him. So cute!

Chops

Ask me how much I'm loving having a brown-eyed boy? One of my favorite things about summer is that the boys (especially the younger two) get to show off their "chops." I've always called their thighs "porkchops" and they know I just love to nibble on them. You know that patch of chunk on the inside of the knee? YUM!

I don't think the neighbors minded the other night when I had Luke outside without his shorts on, do you?

Morning Worship Service

I walk the dog just about every morning. We go roughly 2 miles if I have the time. I tell you, it doesn't matter what Chris ever does for that dog - he is MY dog strictly because of these walks. I really enjoy the time alone to start my day and have always been a morning person, so it works out great.

I took a picture of the front of our house this morning, in case anyone is curious to know where we live. I'm always curious about that stuff. Chris put in the basketball net last year - don't we have the PERFECT driveway for it? Our house is pretty small for all the people we've packed into it but you know what? I can clean it well enough to have company over in just under an hour. So I don't mind being a bit cramped.
So after my walk with Scrabble, the last stop is the steps across the street. Last summer our very nice neighbor acquired a thin strip of land that leads down to the lake and right away built a wonderful staircase leading to the water.

He did SUCH a beautiful job! I can't remember how many pounds of cement he said he used for the posts, but basically a tornado probably couldn't rip it out; it's VERY sturdy.

Once I get down the steps, here's my view...

I wish I had a better camera or that at least the light would have been better this morning because these pictures don't do it justice. I see lots of birds while I'm there, especially herons and there's even a family of Canadian geese that live near the shore. I was excited to see an otter swim by once, but then Chris burst my bubble by telling me it was a muskrat.

This is where I stop and say my morning prayers. They're mostly full of gratitude, especially for nature and our home that's so close to it. For a girl who was born and raised about 10 miles from Detroit, living here for the past five years has been incredible. There's not a day that goes by that I take it for granted!

I also pray for strength for the climb back up...

I think it's only about 55 steps but it sure looks daunting from the bottom, doesn't it?

"She"

I sang this song to my tummy a few years back during those wonderful months I was convinced I was having a girl. For those of you not familiar, it's a song by Elvis Costello off the "Notting Hill" soundtrack.

I dreamed of having a daughter to sing this to, but as it turns out I had William instead. No matter - the words are still so beautiful and poignant and perfectly describe the feelings I have for my 3 year old...(I just change the "she" to "he" now.) He is every bit as dramatic as any girl would have been, I think, and yet makes me laugh a hundred times a day.

When I tell him not to throw he says "I'm not throwing, Mama. I just tossing." And if I tell him to stop screaming, his sweet reply is "I'm not screaming. I just yelling." He has me wrapped around his finger and he knows it! I feel so incredibly blessed to have had him and can't imagine my life without him. Thank you, God, for unanswered prayers!

He may be the song that summer sings,

May be the chill that autumn brings,

May be a hundred different things within the measure of a day.

He may be the beauty or the beast,

May be the famine or the feast,

May turn each day into a heaven or a hell.

He may be the reason I survive

The why and wherefore I'm alive

The one I'll care for in the rough and ready years

Me, I'll take the laughter and the tears

And make them all my souveniers

For where He goes I've got to be

The meaning of my life is He.

Through the Eyes of a 3 Year Old

We have these little guys EVERYWHERE in our neighborhood. They're so cute, especially to Chris and I who never saw any in our home state of Michigan. The kids love them, too.

Yesterday on the way to the bus stop we saw one, but it was dead in the middle of the street. Unfortunately, the large population of "chickmunks" (as William says) also leads to a large number of casualties. William was very sad upon seeing the little guy and lamented, "Poor chickmunk. He layin in the road cuz he's sad." I loved that death has yet to enter William's reality, so I asked him why the chickmunk was sad. "Cuz he can't find his giwlfrend."

The chickmunk was gone this morning and we were all overjoyed that he must have found his girlfriend and run off to marry her.

Have I mentioned how much I love staying home?