My mom sent me this cute email today. Thought y'all would like it, too!
(These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.)
A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.
A place where women curl up and dye.
The only animal you eat before they are born
and after they are dead.
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
An insect that makes you like flies better.
A doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority,
and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media,
which holds forth the proposition that it is
entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.
Grape with a sunburn.
Something you tell to one person at a time.
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
The pain that drives you to extraction.
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
An honest opinion openly expressed.
Something other people have....similar to my character lines.
I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair.
She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"
And that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!!!