Friday, November 26, 2010

The Last of My Truths

I'm just going to wrap up this whole truth thing so that I can be done with it and stop feeling guilty for not blogging every day. I apologize in advance for the lengthiness of this post.

**Note to self: it's unrealistic to think that a working mother of 4 boys under age 7 can find time to sit down at the computer and come up with anything even halfway coherent to say on a daily basis.

Day 20 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
I have never been into drugs (although I love to sniff a good marker, gasoline and turpentine!) but have indulged in a few cocktails in my time. I like to have a drink now and then, but the lure of it isn't very strong anymore because of the headache I know I'll wake up to. I'll do just about ANYTHING to avoid a headache? (amazing, coming from someone who willingly had 4 kids, huh)

Day 21 - Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
I immediately forget what the argument was about, of course. What friend wouldn't?

Day 22 - Something you wish you hadn't done in your life.
Oh gosh! I could go on and on! I try not to dwell on regrets, but I guess if I had to narrow this down to just one thing I would wish I hadn't believed so much in other people. I keep my expectations of people pretty low these days so as not be as bitterly disappointed as I used to be.
(I also kinda wish I hadn't had that pie and ice cream last night. Did I really need another 400 calories on top of what I already consumed yesterday? )

Day 23 - Something you wish you had done in your life.
Again, I could go on for a long time with this one. But one thing that always bothers me is that my grandma died in a nursing home at the end of January, 2004. I hadn't gone to see her since NYE that year. Sure, I was working full time and Owen was about 6 months old so I had other things on my plate, but I've always felt badly that I didn't appreciate my time with her more when I had it. I miss her.
BTW, I'm hoping that 2011 will bring quite a few changes in my life so that I have LESS of these "things I'd wish I'd done" by the time I'm in a nursing home. I'll keep you all posted!

Day 24 - Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
This could be a long post, but I'm just going to go back to the songs I've chosen for my boys. These are the songs I've sung to them since they were babies and will be the songs we dance to at their weddings someday (God willing)
Owen: "You Belong To Me," the Vonda Shepard version that's on the Ally McBeal Soundtrack
Sammy: "When You Tell Me That You Love Me," the Diana Ross version
William: "May You Always," by the McGuire Sisters
Luke: "The Love of My Life," by Carly Simon

Day 25 - The reason you believe you're still alive today
God loves my mom and knows it would kill her to attend my funeral. Seriously, that's what I believe to be the reason.

Day 26 -Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Yes, I've thought about this? Hasn't everyone? But I'm glad I didn't because I now have four beautiful boys and I prefer to focus on them and all the other blessings in my life than the hard times I've been through in the past.

Day 27 - What's the best thing going for your right now?
Anyone reading this blog knows the answer to this one.

Day 28 -What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
I'd be SHOCKED for one thing, but of course I'd be excited and thrilled. What other reaction is there to have when God blesses you with a new life to cherish?

Day 29 - Something you hope to change about yourself and why.
I could go on and on about this one, too, but I will stick to the one thing I want to be and that's more patient. I think a lot about that line from "Evan Almighty" when God (Morgan Freeman) says to Evan's wife (Lauren Graham) that if you ask God for patience He doesn't give you patience; He gives you opportunities to BE patient. I have a TON of those and I apparently need to make better use of them!

I'll save Day 30 for next week, since it's a long one. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Some Quick Truths

Ok, so I'm way behind on the truth-a-day posts. I'm going to try to quickly catch up all at once:

Day15 - Something or someone you couldn't live without, because you've tried living without it.

This would have to be chocolate. I went without any sweets for Lent last year and it just about killed me! I'll have to come up with something different for this year.

Day 16 - Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I could live without having to work all day and be away from my family. Sure, it would be a financial struggle but I really think it would be worth it.

Day 17 - A book you've read that changed your views on something.

I don't know if this counts, but I really enjoyed reading "What Falls Away" by Mia Farrow when I was in my early 20's and that book led to my love of autobiographies. Reading it made me realize how every person has their own struggles and how much more alike we are than different. I highly recommend that book to anyone. I didn't know much about her when I picked it up from the library, but she had a VERY interesting life to say the least!

Day 18 - Your views on gay marriage

Being Christian, I am fundamentally against gay marriage.

Day 19 - What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

I think both can be used for good and both can be used for evil. Both become much more dangerous the more power they are given. I guess that's because both are operated by people, who are inherently flawed.

I do go to church and pray for our politicians. I'd like to believe they are good people and can avoid the temptations that come with being in power, rather than believe they are bad people who are only interested in power.

Ok, that's enough truth for one day. My mom arrives today (WOO HOO!) and will be here for 10 days. I should do a pre-mom weigh-in and let you know how many pounds I pack on while she's here.

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Sammy is Star of the Week!

My Sammy is Star of the Week in his kindergarten class this week. On Monday he had to bring in his "All About Me" poster and then every day this week he gets to be teacher's helper and bring different things in to let his class get to know him better. Tomorrow he's bringing in little rubber frogs. How are those representative of Sammy, you might ask. Well, he has a "froggie freckle" on the inside of his right arm. It really is shaped like a frog and what's great is it was HIM who pointed that out to us!

Here are a couple pictures of our little star in his classroom.
His teacher's name is Mrs. Gunderson and she just loves Sammy's sense of humor. She "gets" him, which is so nice.

We're so proud of our Sammy and can't believe he'll be 6 in just a couple of months. Where has the time gone???

SUYL - My office

I need to break up all these days of truth with some pictures, don't ya think? I'm getting bored with my OWN truth, so I can only imagine how both of my faithful readers feel! ha ha!

Anyway, I did a post of this last year but here is my office again. I consider this a "Show Us Your Life" post because really, this is the place I spend the vast majority of my waking hours. (sad, I know.) It's recently gone through a bit of a renovation so take a look and let me know what you think....

Here is the view from the hallway outside. Our photographer friend, Matt Mason, gifted us a 2nd canvas to put in the window so it balances out the other one. I'd gotten used to just having the one and it being off-center, but now I just LOVE having it look more symetrical. Not to mention, the images used were from MY wedding. (Well, not actually mine, but one I put more effort into designing than my REAL wedding so I claim it as MINE.)

Once you go down the steps into the office, to your left you see this:Those two small round tables on the left used to be set on the wooden floor, which I'll show you in a minute. The table in the back used to be near our desks. It's where we (my officemate and I) meet with clients and show them photo albums of weddings we've hosted. The shelving unit on the far wall holds brochures from area vendors, which is also very helpful when touring prospective brides.
Below is the odd wooden floor that was part of the room when we moved in. It's a strange shape and we were never sure what to do with it but I think I found the perfect solution. The mock head table looks fantastic there, don't you think? I also hung the paper lanterns left over from one of our brides over it. We get asked about hanging those all the time so it's great that as soon as a bride walks in, she sees we are #1 up on trends, and #2 able to do this for her.
This is the table at the center of the room that was set-up by our friend at M&M Events out of Chicago. Derrick is so much fun to work with and we always look forward to his visits. Isn't that centerpiece stunning? He didn't give us a price on what that would cost to reproduce with fresh floral, but I'm guessing it would be upwards of $1,000.00. WOW! Our local florist told us the large branches in the middle at cost are $80 each and there are THREE in it. Derrick did tell us that each stem of the lily of the valley is $10. Amazing!

Sadly, we have come to the end of my tour and the last stop: my desk. Oh, how pathetic it looks in that sad corner up on its cinder blocks! Yes, folks, this is where I spend 9+ hours a day. NOW do you understand why I so long to be a SAHM? Rather than being here all day.... I could be with these guys... Oh and in case you're wondering, I LOVE my stand-up desk! I really can't imagine going back to sitting down all day. There've only been a couple days when I've had to go to work sick that I've longed for a chair, but most days I'm sooooo glad to be standing. And by the end of the day, I don't feel badly AT ALL for plopping myself down on the couch for an hour or two. I deserve it!
More truth tomorrow....

Friday, November 12, 2010

Day 12 of Truth: Something You Never Get Compliments On

There are lots of things I never get compliments on, but I will go back to my last post and say that I almost never get compliments on being a good mom. My own mom is about the only one who ever tells me I'm doing a good job.

This is extremely hurtful to me because #1, I know it's the most important thing I will ever do in my life. And #2, I harbor a tremendous amount of guilt because I have to work a minimum of 47.5 hours per week at my job.

Of course people (including those close to me) probably don't realize I NEED to hear that I'm a good mom every so often, but my insecurities get to me and I feel like the reason no one's saying it is because it must not be true. I struggle with this just about every day.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Days 10 and 11 of Truth

I missed yesterday, so let's catch up:

Day 10 - Someone You Need To Let Go, Or Wish You Didn't Know
Again, with the negative topic! JEESH! I'm just going to skip this one.

Day 11 - Something People Seem To Compliment You The Most On
The physical trait people most compliment me on is my smile, which I'm sure has to do with my teeth, as mentioned in a previous post. I think as far as a character trait, I get the most compliments on my sense of humor.

But the compliment I'd MOST like to hear is that I'm a great mom. I don't think I could possibly EVER hear that enough!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Truth Day #9: Someone You Didn't Want To Let Go, But Just Drifted

Oh my gosh, I could go on FOREVER with a list of people who've made such a great impact on my life but who are no longer around. There was this guy I worked with at Little Caesar's when I was in my late teens. His name was Scott and we laughed every day virtually from the moment we punched in until I drove him home. He lived a block away, but often we had to continue whatever we had been laughing about all day so I'd have to take him home.

Then there was Helen, this really nice lady I worked with when I was in my late 20's. It was a hotel near the Detroit Airport. Again, this is someone I mostly remember laughing with all day, someone who made going to work a true pleasure. I miss you, Helen!

But I think the person who stands out most in my mind is my friend, Michelle. We had been good friends since we were 12 years old when I transferred to her school. We remained friends through all the ups and downs of high school and into our 20's. When I got married, we didn't see each other as much but remained close. As we get older, it's not as important to see people all the time but I just knew she and I were still friends. She got married shortly after I had Owen and we always joked about when we were old widows we'd get an apartment together somewhere and argue all the time (as friends who are more like sisters often do!)

After I moved to Wisconsin, things went south quickly. It wasn't the geographical change, it was more what was going on in her life. Her marriage wasn't going well and she struggled with infertility. I'd make an effort to spend time with her when I visited family in Michigan, but she never wanted to see me if I was with my family. She confessed to me, finally, that it was "very difficult to be around kids and especially babies" since she so badly wanted one of her own. Her marriage has since ended and at 38, I'm sure it's very difficult for her to accept that she's not at all where she wanted to be in her life. I stopped making an effort to reach out to her and we haven't spoken in over a year.

I've felt so hurt by this. As my friend, shouldn't she have put aside her own feelings and be happy for me that I have a family? I'm certain we would still be friends if I were still single, but I can't put my own dreams on hold just because she is unable to fulfill hers. Anyway, it's very sad because we had been friends for 20 years and now we casually ask mutual acquaintances about each other, but neither of us reach out directly.

I've thought about sending her a Christmas card this year (with my kids' faces blocked out, of course) just to let her know I'm thinking about her and wish her all the best. What do you think?

Monday, November 8, 2010

Another Day of Truth

Ok, I really want to skip today's topic, which is "Someone Who Made Your Life Hell or Treated You Like Sh**." Really, what's the point? I don't want to dwell on those people in my life who have hurt me - I just want to move on. I do learn from those tough experiences. I learn about the person I DON'T want to be and I also learn to quickly eliminate their negativity from my life.

On a more positive (?) note, Owen has his first crush. Last night he confessed to me that he "loves" Hannah. I met this girl briefly a couple weeks ago, but don't really remember much about her. I asked him what he loves about her and he told me she's very nice, that when he had to sit in the principal's office during recess she gave him a handkerchief. What for, I asked? "For the tears...that was REALLY nice." I agree!

I thought it would be so hard to see my boys start to have an interest in girls and I'm sure there will be times I struggle with it. But if a girl at school wipes Owen's tears when I can't, I'm all for it! Thank you to all the moms out there who have daughters and are raising them to be kind and to wipe my sons' tears. I, in turn, will try my best to raise sons who don't cause your daughters any tears. (Tall order, but I'll give it my best shot!)

Sunday, November 7, 2010

2 More Days of Truth

I was too busy yesterday to blog, but still kicked myself at the end of the day for not doing it. Even with the extra hour we got going off DST I was still ONLY able to do 3 loads of laundry, including bedsheets and curtains, make the beds and re-hang the curtains, wash all the windows inside and out, clean the gutters, make a yummy dinner (homemade chicken fingers, mashed potatoes, veggies, from-scratch peanut butter cookies for dessert) and then clean the kitchen and sweep and mop the kitchen/dining room floor. Anyway, even if they give me an extra hour it's not enough, but I AM glad that extra hour came on a weekend when I was off work at least.

Day 6: One Thing You Hope You Never Have To Do

Any mother will say the thing they hope they never have to do is outlive their child and of course that's true for me to. But I'm a huge wimp and will also say I hope I never have to see any of my kids really sick. Even if they live through a bad sickness, I just don't know how I would be able to deal with them being in pain and not be able to help them. I also don't want to have to deal with anyone in the medical profession on that level, as I'm not a fan. (sorry if that offends anyone, I just don't trust doctors.)

Day 7: Someone Who Makes Your Life Worth Living

Again, as a mother the predictable answer here would be to say my kids and that's true. But how boring is that answer? So I'm going to look beyond that obvious statement and think about someone else who makes my life worth living: ME!

My mom and I talk about this all the time, how Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is within. I know that every day I have to choose and find my happiness, so I do. I'm not saying I don't have bad days (yesterday, actually, was a really bad one) but I try so hard to be a positive person and barrel through all the CRAP and just focus on the fun things along the way. My brother says you have to have the "hide of a rhino" to get through this life and that's probably true. But there are also so many wonderful people and things out there that make it worthwhile and all I have to do is look a little to find them.

But I will admit, having these four little guys helps a lot. They find fun in every day, too...

I have a whiteboard here over the computer in the kitchen and every week I put a quote on it. The quotes come from this little book, "Timeless Wisdom - A Treasury of Universal Truths." The quote this week is by that awesome poet lauriet, "Anonymous."

Cherish your yesterdays,

Dream your tomorrows,

But live your todays!

With that, I leave you to live MY today. It's going to be 60 and sunny and the Packers are playing tonight. Happy Sunday to all!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Day 5 of Truth: Something You Hope To Do In Your Life

This is actually pretty easy because there are a LOT of things I hope to do. But without question the number 1 thing is to eventually be a stay at home mom, or at least to work out of my home. Whenever I have a random weekday off, I can't WAIT to walk to the bus stop to pick them up at the end of their day. I find that 10 minute walk where they tell me about their day at school is the BEST part of any day for me. I'd also LOVE to be there to help them with their homework and fix them a yummy dinner.

For all those SAHM's out there, know how LUCKY you are. Yes, it's a hard job but it's soooo worthwhile and you'll never regret being able to spend that time with your kids when they're young.

I'm hatching a plan to hopefully be able to make this a reality for me fairly soon and in time to at least be there for William and Luke when they are babies. Wish me luck!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Day 4 of Truth: Something You Have to Forgive Someone For

This is a REAL bummer topic for me. I knew it was coming up and thinking about it last night was very depressing. I don't know that I'm very good at forgiveness, but over the years I've become an expert at burying my feelings of hurt and disappointment. Looking back at my life, there are many things I need to forgive people for but then I think there are probably a lot of things other people need to forgive ME for, so who am I to throw stones?

Therefore, I will gloss over the more serious issues I've had and instead tell you that I need to forgive my neighbor for letting her dog out to bark at 4:30am. For the past several weeks I've woken up to this barking dog at 5:30am and been very irritated by that, but this morning when it was 4:30am I was BEYOND angry. Then my blood pressure went up and I found it hard to get back to sleep even after she let the dog back in the house.

This is the same neighbor I had the conflict with last year regarding her daughter's lack of attention to detail when babysitting. Remember this post? Anyway, I'm trying to figure out if I should say something to her or just let it go. This particular dog is quite old and blind, so I don't think I'll have to put up with it THAT much longer. I'm generally a pacifist so I probably won't say anything. Anyway, I guess I need to forgive her for being so inconsiderate to ALL her neighbors, not just me.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

30 Days of Truth: Something You Have To Forgive Yourself For

These topics are getting harder as the days go on and I'm not entirely sure starting this was a good idea, especially looking at Day #19 (stay tuned for that!)

I think the one thing I have to forgive myself for is not being able to spend enough time with my kids. My heart aches every day because I can't be there for them when they get off the school bus or to make dinner for them while they're doing their homework. I know being a stay at home mom would definitely have its ups and downs, but at least at the end of my life I would know I spent my time on earth doing something incredibly worthwhile. Being here at work, I don't feel that way at all. I already regret all the hours spent here, even if they do pay the bills.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

30 Days of Truth

Ok, I'm starting a day late for November so I am going to do #1 and #2 today and then pick up with #3 tomorrow. Hopefully I can remember to post every day, but we'll see...

#1 - Something You Hate About Yourself
I don't normally use the word "hate" and have taught my boys not to use it either, but I guess if I could change one thing about myself it would be my competitive/jealous nature. I struggle with it a lot because I miss out on being happy for others when something goes well for them. I am very guilty of trying to "keep up with the Jones'" and that's led to a lot of heartache. I do try to remember that everyone has their own cross to bear and focus, instead, on the many blessings in my life.

#2 - Something You Love About Yourself
First of all, I absolutely love that I'm a mom. So many of my friends have struggled with infertility so I know I'm incredibly blessed to have four healthy boys.

I want to sneak in a 2nd thing I do love about myself: my teeth. They are so strong and straight and they certainly have served me well (perhaps a little too well, at times! ha ha!)

Monday, November 1, 2010


We sure did have fun this year! The boys got to wear their costumes for a haunted walk through the woods on Saturday night and then again for trick-or-treating last night. As you can see, they were all zombies, except for Luke who wore Owen's old gorilla costume. Last year we spent Halloween in Michigan and none of the kids were that into the trick-or-treating, but this year they all loved it, especially William. He loved that he got to be something scary, just like his older brothers.

When we got home, Owen took off his Michael Jackson wig right away because it was itchy. William, who up until then had had to wear that silly little blanket as his "hair", was thrilled to take it from him. He immediately laid face down on the floor and did a scary "rising from the grave" routine while singing "Thriller." He slept in the wig and wore it at breakfast this morning, too. He's so funny and entertaining!

I'm trying to avoid the candy but we'll see how long that lasts. I really need to bring it into work, where I'm sure a pack of ravenous wolves (my co-workers) will devour it in no time flat!